


Life (London Edition)

by Moritarty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 23:33:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moritarty/pseuds/Moritarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is only natural for Jim to get bored whilst watching 221B and amuse himself in a strange way. Only Sebastian is not so convinced Jim is the next David Attenborough...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life (London Edition)

And here we have the most rare and elusive of creatures in this buzzing concrete jungle, the Sherlock. A rather solitary creature, the Sherlock shuns others in choosing to be alone in this place. It is considered a miracle it lasted into adult hood due to its tendency to neglect itself, possibly the reason they are so rare. The Sherlock isn’t particularly violent, preferring to confront the aggressor with its words and intellect. Although, when feeling threatened it will lash out briefly to save itself. As I said Sherlock’s are solitary creatures, many attempts have been made by other species to bond with it, but it has never ended well. A notable occurrence was the Anderson a few years ago, where the Sherlock turned spectacularly on the Anderson much to the mirth of the gathering herd of police around them. An attempt was made to subdue them both by the king of the beasts and unchallenged leader here, the Lestrade. With the clever use of a tool known as a ‘Newspaper’ he threatened to strike them both, the Anderson backed down causing the Sherlock to strut away in triumph. Needless to say any meeting between them now is usually mediated by the Lestrade to avoid conflict.  
It is in fact only up until quite recently that the Sherlock has been alone in its den, a rather unlikely bond between it and a passing John looking for shelter. We expected the Sherlock to turn it away, but instead allowed it to enter and so the John has remained. The John is an unlikely creature with which to bond with, being so different to the Sherlock. It is smaller, stockier, deceptively strong and with an often dazzling array of plumages known as ‘Jumpers’. It is incredibly docile mostly, but turns fierce as soon as threatened. This John was once a part of a pack of similar creatures, known as an ‘Army’, but left probably due to injury and desire for a quiet life. It is still the debate of many scholars of whether or not their relationship has homosexual overtones, despite the reluctance of the John to accept any of the Sherlock’s unusual mating rituals. For example, the bringing back of unusual morsels of flesh as gifts and the warding off of any females, possibly viewed as a potential threat. Whatever it maybe, it is a wonderful and unlikely friendship.  
The Sherlock doesn’t eat often, unlike other creatures. The John tries to get him to eat but with limited success. This can be the source of many a conflict between them, but it is usually resolved quickly and the Sherlock eats what the John presents to him. Clearly in this relationship the John is the hunter-gatherer for the pair. They do have other amicable relationships with the Sherlock’s brother, the equally rare Mycroft, who is quite different to the Sherlock. It eats to excess, causing many a teasing from the Sherlock about it’s size, and it carries a tool known as an ‘Umbrella’ possibly as a symbol of power, or more likely, in case it rains. There is an older, motherly creature who lives underneath the Sherlock and John, a Mrs Hudson. She appears occasionally to gift them with food and substitute motherly affection. Upon closer research we discovered the den used to belong to her but she allowed the two of them to live there, showing her kind nature. Another is the Molly, a small affectionate little thing who spends her life in the ‘hospital’ a place for sick creatures. She is very friendly and little shy when you first meet her, but incredibly loyal to the Sherlock and the John. Despite her best efforts, the Sherlock continues to ignore her amorous advances. And of course, the majestic Lestrade. He makes it his work to organise the Police (herd like creatures, rather dim.) which he does to the best of his ability. Despite how aggravating the Sherlock can be, he still treats him with the utmost respect due to his evident superior intellect. He also lets any sleights from the Sherlock on his intellect to slide because of this.

“Boss what are you doing?”  
“What?” Jim looked around to see Sebastian in the doorway watching him.  
“What were you doing?” He asked, gesturing to the laptop on the table.   
“None of your business.”  
“Were you doing a David Attenborough impersonation whilst stalking Sherlock?”  
“I was observing him, not stalking.” Jim retorted, “There’s a difference.”  
“No, I think it was stalking.” Sebastian said, “And I see you’re not denying the impersonation thing.”  
“I think I am allowed to amuse myself Moran.”  
“Right.”  
“And it’s not my fault he insists on being so dull.”  
“Whatever you say.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation for this other than maybe I should spend more time actually working than watching repeats of 'Life'.


End file.
